My Beautiful Dark Freshman Year In College​(​Free Download)

by Darris Robins

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This album is about my freshman year at Berklee College of Music in Boston. MA. What a rough year for me, having to learn how to live with a relationship and with out being able to create the music I knew I had inside me. Learning to organize everything that was going on in my head during this time is what fueled me move into the present. The album artwork visually describes what I was going through internally. I specifically chose the placement and type of sign to convey a message very important to me. I wanted it to be created in a way that allowed people looking at it to have a pretty clear idea of what the album is about. I hope what’s inside the cover art helps you with whatever you may be going though whether that be dreams, relationships, insecurities, backstabbing friends or just the usual ups and downs of life.

I want to give the youth something cool to listen to that’s not all the negative stuff we’ve already heard countless times before, which is why MBDFYIC has no cursing and no use of the N word! This is a record you can share with the whole family! I hope you enjoy it, I hope you reject it, and I hope you accept it.

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released January 21, 2012

Produced by: Darris Robins



all rights reserved


Darris Robins St Louis, Missouri

With the release of his album "MY BEAUTIFUL DARK FRESHMAN IN COLLEGE" he has gotten local and national exposure. His skills as a writer and producer has birthed the new amazing genre blending genre self titled “Experimental Hip-Hop Fusion" Visit for music, shows, and a depth look into his world. ... more

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Track Name: Intro(Heaven) Ft Black Surfer & Errol Cooper
Im going into war or going in. Ok im going in to something so beautiful despite the crimes of ego and anxiousness I expect it. I felt the pain leaving it in my head and just dreaming it. I reclaimed my victory and became a new creature.

Man it feels like yesterday when I was still thinking to myself how was I going to get my dreams from mind to reality. There was no probability, sitting around talking bout what I wanna do Is foolish, mind and brain power wins when your strengthless. I couldn't handle responsibility shoot I couldn't respond looking in the mirror everyday at the same ole same ole illusion. It's like I took the wrong pill lost everything on a court case sold my soul for appeeal. the devils nectah

I couldn't stay in a dream "state" for too long for my desires became an illusion from then on move on i didn't think to stop catch a breather or have time to think that Obstacles couldn't stop me wondering if my new job was gonna drop me. thinking if my girl leaves me i won't have nothing in this room but a tv. Labeled as a misfit too short of a giant big shoes filled up sell em to my client. Waited till fish bit the bait, with uncertainty I didn't know that I was trying to bait you with the hopes of catching the big one; goal we all wanted, success. But success sucks without a team who's not seeing ya vision clear, so the bait of success, your trying to catch was the hook line sinker of destruction and the big one was always pulling you Labeled as a misfit too short of a giant big shoes filled up sell em to my client. My client being you with troubles of the world playing in the background. I find it interesting the days singing in the background being in front row. Answering the questions testing the teacher with sarcastic expressions. I get to spread my wings fly to the destination.

My destination designated for the utmost expectation. A seat on the throne of grace and mercy what a accomplish riding with the accomplice I get where I'm going even when the rain falls and my shield breaks apart from the latter day falls. It's war time you hear it. Power to the people occupy your own life I fight evil. Wallstreet is fine occupy u in return you;ll occupy this world again little soldiers. Fight and unclear it. Clear up the mess be it you
Track Name: M.B.D.F.Y.I.C. Ft Jonathan Hoard
We travel this life thinking were on a right path but when a fork comes in the road we scratch our heads in confusion, we didn't even get a chance to ever choose and see which is right. So how do you know where your supposed to be? I'll tell how I found mine.

In the dungeon he found myself didn't have nothing else lost in the world with no ones help that's all he felt.

I moved to boston for college bean town is what they calls it. You've been nice to me never called me cocky and u said Im the one of most humble at Berklee. I never thought I had that Berklee swag. But I guess most do. It's funny how artist do the most to keep a band chasing them with your vision hiring conviction. With that complete failure, was my freshman year. None of my plans became realities I found myself begging for sanity. like a zombie wondering the streets tryna find lines to write, tryna find me, was what was calling me. music my child birthed from experiences through sentences to jail 24 westland street apartment 8. no food ate lost mad weight No good health from jealousy i had of others when I crossed over with this disease. . Death awaited my future if I didn't change mind sets. drum sets couldn't beat loud enough for evil to leave me . I love all those who stood by me. and opportunities that came to me thus far,besides the one that wanted me to sell my soul to be a star. Pray for me I ran through last year stealthfully Thats why u never saw me. I was locked up in some mess called stress. How could I fail at this? Love set in and killed this bow

While You meditated I iditated I stands for men while me stands for she she's personal.

I'm sorry so sorry but I had to do it i had to do It. It's true maybe some day you'll forgive me when I forgive you. During that time period fasting with just water you left me to die. Don't cry see how loves waters are dry now, I wasn't perfect But I never cheated like the lies stated I did. I cherished you miss thomas that was my promise to make u miss robins. You were my attention even with entension good confusion came grabing hold of something I longed for, Yea I failed at love before so what I'd tried again with you? I was too wraped up in the art of making love not the art of you. The art of you I cherished your body love making being be side me the releases shared. We got scared and it walked away. You cant let something so cherished walk away so easily. Please me, was the last thing I remember you saying before leave me. lost we. Marriage strangled mental thoughts hers masculine, and I mine feminine. I can't hide with a spirit moved to these patterns. You hear this music and distortion. Hormones changed us that's why i eat natural NO MEAT EATEN.

MBDFYIC changed me, cleansed he, from me, before me was the past me now the new me is no meat, only veggies You gotta know what u eaten, they be putting yellow 5 crucify him in em. Eminems and candies speeding up irregulating hardenin arteries silently, thinking your sick when you have symptoms it itch then scratch it.It bleeds it hurts it breaths, it sees it flirts it needs.I innerstood inside was devil and god. so personal on 2 different levels but of the same union balanced spiritual vibes chimed on key harmonically with the chakras around me. I became Anu, who ever he be I was supposed to be. Hard to be me when things around me dumb me down. Hence the enemy is my inner me. Things grow and things die, things change and things lie. Death was found as perfect and life is the perfecting it. 1 plus 1=2, 2 was 08's anniversary and 22 was 10's add it at u get divisions of 6 and 3. Completion in 6 days and 3 is the trinity. So much knowledge in one year It was my, beautiful,dark,freshman, year, in college.
Track Name: Miss Louie ft Jenee Miller
h o m e, the meaning of that word was born out of miss louiey. St.Louis my birth place non other a place where you can choose

Sitting in the airport in Philly for umpteen hours connecting flight . Delay delay delay I'm tryna get to louy ms louy some call her Lou it's been a min walking the through the loop. we won the world series so it's time to go home. Home Is where the heart is. My heart was born in you MA. This her favorite beat out of all em shout out my mom shout out my dad shout my Sis shout the fam. Extended family are my friends to the end. You know that title friend is used more than friendship. Speaking a ship I miss my aunts banana boat and sweet potato pie. But I'm stuck in the airport with memories flying by.

h o m e, the meaning of that word was born out of miss louiey. Back when I was small we used to play ball double rims cuz the jocks would break em. leggs My First time on a skateboard I glad I didn't break em.Being the youngest for years I looked up to my cousins and the ones with cars I hitched a ride wit. Sitting shot gun wit my side kick. I didn't have phone till I was 17 parents said I had to pay but my sister got hers on her 11th birthday. I remember that day in womacks when cody created my hair cut he mixed a box with a hawk named mo. Afro wearing picks in my head, judge me cuz I wanna be like back day reflect where black power was in full effect. Reminiscing of my adolescence when I had waves and people didn't say I had shag but just a fade. Plenty a candy stores mc donalds 50 cencin. Buck doubles and mall running. Number a girls I pull numbers from so cunning. Were blessed my the arch didn't know some some call it a arc but it's cool. Shout out my teachers snIder and mark and mrs lewis all teachers from the glorius hazelwood or hazelhood we rather kirby than hazelwood east middle would. Home of the cardinals rams and blues. We got champions and home of the jazz blues. and of thin crust pizza shout out imos and don't forget chinese food and home of the st paul, That a egg foo young on white bread maynoise tomatoes and some pickles original ain't it and we love it don't we yea. My inner circle is dellwood ferguson where I grew up the most dense place of talent that we all sipped from the cup. Cup of love
Track Name: Backstabbers
Been through alot I ain't gone lie to u. Can I trust u enough when I sneeze u say bless u without ya fingas crossed. Drop my food on the floor kiss it up to god and put it back on my plate. I'm a rhyming ape fahrenhiet 15 mary magalat, I rap now congratulate, foreign relate keep my steelo on high even with a persucuted ego. I give advice or story tell with morals to the high class and lower. Only to be hit lower and lower below the belt.
I befriend people knowing they don't like me keep my emotions shelved suck it up and keep it pushing righteously keep ya head up young woman young brother from another. In Situations they still go try to get ya tazed and caged in blaming you for a crime you aint even do, Blue skys look down on you, through ya eyes see red clouds grey shrouds befriending you, I'm not saying be paranorma and don't trust folk, just watch ya back just in case they wanna practice theyre choke hold. NInja style being slick wit it, leeching off ya like a vampire in daytime sick wit it. Be you go with that first mind that righteous mind you got it. Don't let people make u shell up like a crab in the pot pulling down those around you for ya own insecurities. You got a mind right use it for detecting back stabbing thieves. SO

If I had one chance I wouldn't do it again. I would leave earth and go to my homeland. I think I'm a starchild. Not of this earth but sent here for a missionThe creator gave me a mission from a different planet I am but the spirit is universal. For all y'all wondering Im not a alien but mere a star child. And will birth star children. From a different star system not a super star made for mainstream music. Again neglecting my home training and my missionBeing the nice guy being the first impression everybody looks for knowing your being fake. Each relationship made seemed like a farce i spite the only to a few did I find true friendship.What you would do for a check huh ladies? For a beat ladies for a nice studio a writer maybe? Ha yea theres more than a few here. Being friends and business partners never worked out did it? You know who Im talking to. Hopping church to church for 50/50 yea right I put in 100 u give me 50. Un even fraction I should da cracked ya head wide open gave u a fractle ha.

It never worked out did it? I hope your all and well with your wifey to be. Just make sure you don't lie when she finds whats in your phone. I don't respect men who would show there woman in a perverted way. I don't respect woman who would talk about her mans man hood. Calling you anything but masculine Peter pan robin hood. Seen in the hood all day cops back stabbing the paton in ya back get on ya back hands above the head and you dare not say nothing your just as crooked as him. He took the drugs you was finna sell but you rather take em then go back to jail you know them crooked cops. But whos more crooked? or does even matta you gotta swagga like mick jagga you about ya biz taking candy from babies and little kids you the worse back stabba, you said you would make ya dad and momma proud but ya lifes caught up hiding in the crowd with a shroud a darkness surrounding you, I befriended you when the streets and the game was against you. But all I get is a stabbed back. you smile in my face
Track Name: Signed A Truce
Signed a truce with the devil now his court case settled. Signed a quick deal sold his soul for (appeal). He'll buy it back rest assured swallow pills pain pills tylonol prescription real ententions dead ententions with a soul fornicated with the spirit of redintion needed healin breathing slow skin peeling, nit picking, high noon sippin, holding short and stout tea cups soon becoming growing into a gentleman a nice guy flowerman a out to eat hold the door man wait let me pull out ya chair mam a old school mentality rivalry he feels as others guys watching him cocky mean wondering how a gentleman is out with most fondering femalien quotin volumes from text books rules of first dates using quotes from comercial dictionaries about february 14 what love is be is are is thou is put the devil out of love mix it with vengeance cuz u been stripped a time long ago u lieing bastard if my soul was worth sowing for for the future for me god Jesus and the spirit thus far or four let me reep continuous boutifulness until obilivion doubts armageddon and wormholes open past futures come together wrapped in cloth like a new born child that's the universe as it was now good vs evil love vs hate choose who u wit u learn by mistakes strategies collateral for strength needing knowledge ofcourse to balance these.
Track Name: Pop Dat Eastern(Stress Reliever)
I wanna be airhead, atleast atleast for a day see what it's like, too much on my mind wanna see a fight, gotta ventilate I'm tripping now, with some middle Eastern lemonade how. On the rocks please sitar playing notes only on the up beats. drums make my feet move girls on the dance floor dancing in heels prove. Proof there the baddest. Gladys madness in my head I wanna let go, bread and circus so what I wanna go so, ain't nothing here but this flo and I'm finna move till the sun comes up like a rain dance for the sun when tempo goes up, getting higher and louder until I just.

but Lets gain control of the things that u don't like like life, Gain control on the things that you do like like ya like.
Rhetorical comments for what wanna do, I still love you it's cool. But you holding self back this ain't highschool.
This is real life. don't forget it, some people have it and lose it. You have the power to make the sun glow in darkness-when the lights go out turned off-regardless of your status quo

im on my solo hype up like dolo ralph lauren polo geared up lets give em a show Im locked up eyes closed time ran and time froze.A year making beats bearded front shag cut.cut nothing but me in the lab yup, I'm on to the next one, next one push rewind press play I'm done arrest mea, for being me it's a rough road ahead, being alone ahead of the crowd led, by ya instinct 5 heart beats nsync you see the timeline. 2 lines up blind what, you, got,

I got 2 in my pocket not enough lock it. keys in my her hand and her man trying to stop it. stopping her from growing stopping her from achieving stopping her relying on some system where it beats him. he's mad at her for not believing in a dream that is solid and full of reason. She just wants her pleasing she ain't tryna hear that. It's opposite of lust she just don't wanna go back. to the arguments lost in cycles and in them circles whirlpool erkles it erks her to not being equal she says with a mean frown. drop it you not gone stop it.
Read it the news rest stop is 4 years how with no car gotta be there by sixxxx cles walk on michaels and jordans, I only got 2 shoes cuz it's all i gots I remember when running shoes was only for white people now it's cool dude! I tried to get hip to it but I remember the teasing back then screw it. I'm a make my own style. and must you jock it, then come back later and say Darris you dropped it?
Track Name: Wounded Womb
her womb is wounded wounded of the past, you can mask it but it only makes the pain last. what u carry is a seed ,a blessing your a queen it's time you learn how to address them

A beautiful baby girl was just born, she has her mothers smile and fathers eyes. What a gift a prize a to see her grow up into a woman bless up, her early child hood her father left because of the motherhood was left all alone with a bitter black mother black soul black wombman she blessed the earth with her presence written in the sand still wouldn't find another man to replace him, her father left . Stubborn of the blood line sin, she blocked all guidances from other men. She was tough as nails as her mother. The pain from the other she buried until her first crush. Face so red blushed, blood shot red every time he comes around knocks her dead. She would be looking for that masculine energy wrong place wrong man wrong synergy but for what cost? she was so wraped- into what her mother rejected she got lost in the man that left her pregnant. father punked out. scorch so easily put out flame on human torch, forged together with the error of the slightest smile she fell hard for the man that was well en dowde. And, for the ones that was iight she broke there hearts lit em up laced with dynamite.

Growing up furthering her dream she met a man with self esteem and a esteem deemed with love, They fell deeply in love, attachment they held hands for the first times months after engagement. Not marriage but a step or too below, listening to love below prototype. Stunned by the kiss he implied his feelings with silence and movement no violence. What a lovely course that entered them, she held on to the pain past experience, needing clearance he tried to get her heart back to the present future turn the clock back, so she can see he's different than the other guys, lies lies she runs slams the door in his face, she lives in her nightmare. chased, my the darkness her,
cocoon is see through inside she is busy looking at her flaws. If the ears are too long she;ll snip if the mouth is too wide she'll stitch them. With her chalk she can outline a fine a voluptuous shape. The nape of her neck is the perfect place. To tuck and fold her straight pins hold the skin together just so. She knows were to set seems for cuffs he heams her arms and legs must n;t be too long see her desires were corrupted from a place long gone long gone.
Track Name: Classes Ft Black Surfer & Errol Cooper
Sitting in class feeling like a fish in a glass bowl, bowl with the soul of a lion with no roar. I feel bound by the theory trying to explain the. me Blueprints to this music confines me with a script play written for a genre, feeling fluent is my nature don't birds fly in nature. I feel I got the body of a lion skin of a reptile wings of the flyas but a mans head on the shouldas. I'm over my beastly nature. But in class they encourage intellect and down intuition. With music did they write before played the creators of these instruments that tease our emotions with convulsions in the legs and feet. Make u jump shake ya hands catching everybody like a disease. I see a cure music theory. Or Mathmatics. Mathematical equations built parameters in my head. I couldn't think. How you think a that. I don't think I release vent emotions received from day to day life. One ear out the other in my ear while spirits hang near, guiding your feelings of whats listening. In this cell I can't reproduce split multiply and keep growing. It was my home now, 24 by 20 room.

I don;t like class so i got graduate it

I couldn't even flex my masculinity let alone creativity. Up all night writing these lyrics, fright to the jungle when the lion roars, I write these songs to connect when u not listening. mediums subconscious locked in bondage with mainstream music being your most wanted avenue. What you find in that? No culture,For the moment music has no spirit no craving denomination. Abomination common denominator mind constrictor is what they pushing. If the goose laid the golden egg why u still seeking and being comfortable with humpty. you dumpty sitting on a wall falling for the matrix protecting it and eventually I crack it open and u still blind. hopefully, U vibing to the beat enough it goes to your subconscious. You can't be born again if your eggs shells broken so again when this beast is dead another will try to be born so I'll keep cracking it until u get the picture to the end. Nursery rhyme music.

Suicide on accident complacent with that mentality aren't we? Aren't u tired of having to work woman? See I speak knowledge through this music and I book em, but when I talk outside the parameters of sound in speakers you can't handle my man hood. I can't flex. I'm tired aren't u? College living classes I learned much sitting behind classmates memories flashes in my head first day in kindergarden when I gardened my first kiss. Hey I was curious isn't that what schools about curiousness The opposite sex? We wear different clothes but whats really different. I hated that day when boys go in that room and the girls in the other. I hate being apart from the other. Total opposite of me need be me and the to overstand the different and how to be what your born to be. Classes classes classes I hated sitting in desks, I still do, I feel feminine don't u? Look up the history system of schools. You might be surprised and what u find. But first raise your hand to speak it's only polite and gentlemen. Men being gentle is the new millennium get wit it or mask it. I've seen both sides of the spectrum you only got 2 options die or follow the rules of the system.